We continue our Ready for Play series on official-coach communication with an article from Referee Magazine, published online July 15, 2026.
Don’t reward the behavior
Coaches learn quickly what gets results. If shouting earns an immediate answer, expect more shouting. June Courteau, the retired NCAA national coordinator of women’s basketball officiating, put it plainly: “If I answer the question when you are out of control, I am just rewarding your behavior.” Deal with the behavior first. Communication is built on mutual respect, and the conversation can happen once the behavior is under control. Your reply to a coach should be a response, not a reaction.
The legendary basketball official Ed Hightower once modeled this without saying a word. Making a foul call in front of an opposing coach who immediately started in on him, Hightower simply held his signal, fist in the air, frozen, until the coach relented his argument. Only then did he proceed. The message was unmistakable: the conversation happens on the official’s terms, not the coach’s volume.
Recognize when no answer is expected
If a comment isn’t worded as a question, there’s a good chance no reply is expected. Some coaches are venting. Some are thinking out loud. Some remarks are gallows humor in the face of a game that’s slipping away. One official recalled working a blowout where the trailing coach vowed, deadpan, that next game he was only dressing seven players; the rest would just have to start dressing themselves. No call was being disputed. Nothing needed fixing. The old adage “speak only when spoken to” serves officials well here: you don’t have to answer every statement.
When you do answer, answer with the rulebook
Coaches often yell because they want answers. “Why can’t we get that call at the other end?” “Are you going to let him do that all night?” No answer may satisfy a coach in a fit of rage, but any answer you give should be rules-based. The rulebook is the most effective defense an official has in a heated discussion. A properly referenced, rules-based answer leaves an escalating coach no leg to stand on, and it keeps you from stooping to the coach’s level. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
This works in any sport, because every rulebook has a chapter built on definitions, and that shared language is one of the few things coaches and officials actually agree on. When a coach insists their player did nothing wrong, part of the assignment is walking back through the definition and illustrating why this particular play was a violation, in a manner suited to the conference room and not the barroom.
Watch your tone as much as your words
Your tone of voice can override the actual words you use. A clear, strong, even delivery reads as confidence. A halting or quiet reply reads as weakness. An angry tone invites an angry response in kind. The coach is listening to how you say it at least as much as what you say.
Manage your side of the exchange
None of this works if you lose your own composure. It takes more mental toughness and restraint to stay above the fray than to fire when fired upon, but the official who trains themselves not to argue ends up more confident and more respected.
Quiz
Read the quiz stem and then choose the best answer.
3/15 from the B-45. A12 throws a legal forward pass toward A84. While the pass is in flight, B21 grabs A84’s jersey at the B-30 and pulls him backward. Despite the restriction, A84 catches the pass at the B-28 and advances to the B-12, where he is tackled.
- No foul, A84 caught the pass
- 1/10 from the B-12
- 1/10 from the B-6
Review Rules 7-5-10a, 10-4-2b