A local high school has struggled mightily in the past 2+ decades to win football games. Since 2004, they have won only 49 times. During this period, they have had one season (7-4) when they won more than half their games. In 14 of 21 seasons, they have won two or less games.
And I can remember one specific player from that school that played varsity football for 4 years. Number 7. He was small, tough, and fairly skilled. He played hard all game, regardless of the score. He was the player you always had to keep an eye on, because he was in on every dust-up (sometimes as the instigator). As the game started to get out of hand, his emotions would get the best of him, and he would inevitably verbally and physically express his displeasure and frustration.
In his senior year, during another blowout loss, he shoved an opponent on his way to the sideline. I ran after him and said, “Hey 7!” He ignored me. “Number 7!”
He turned around and said with a sneer, “I know, you’re going to tell me if I don’t knock it off, you’re going to flag me.” I looked into his eyes and could see pain and frustration and anger.
I said, “No, I just want to tell you I appreciate your passion. You work hard every play. In fact, if I ever have to be in a foxhole, I’d want you right beside me. You’d make an amazing Marine.”
It was remarkable to see an instant transformation in his eyes. The pain, frustration, and anger departed, replaced by what looked like shock. It took a few seconds for him to process what I said, and then his face broke out into a huge, relieved grin.
I said, “Keep playing hard. You can be a great leader on this team. Keep up the passion; just make sure you play with sportsmanship, okay?”
And as I walked away, I said, “And join the Marines when you graduate!”
I’m not God’s gift to football officiating, and I must confess, I’ve directed my share of snarky and angry comments at players when they’ve aggravated me.
I need to remember these players are teenagers. They haven’t mentally, emotionally, or physically matured. Each day they may experience more stress than we adults do. These kids could be facing unbearable pressure from broken families, broken personal relationships, schoolwork issues, stress about the future, stress about their performance on the field, and on and on. I’m pretty sure social media has made high school much more difficult than when we attended. It seems tougher to be a teenager today than it was “X” number of years ago.
And then the players have to “go to war” on the football field. As officials, facilitating the game is more than just blowing our whistles, throwing our flags, and spotting the ball. Facilitating the game includes interacting with the players and helping them navigate the emotional ebb and flow of every game.
The next time you encounter a “Number 7,” consider giving grace and encouragement with patience instead of a stern reprimand. Don’t confront the player as an adversary; don’t view the player as someone who is creating a problem for you. Interact with the player as a teenager who may be shouldering a lot of stress and hurt. Be a positive influence.
Quiz
Read the quiz stem and then choose the best answer.
Quarterback A12 crouches and places his hands under the guard (A56). Snapper A77 then snaps the ball to A33 who runs for a first down.
- Legal play
- Illegal snap (dead ball foul)
- Illegal formation (live ball foul)
- Unsportsmanlike conduct
Review Rule 7-2-3