Officials, especially wing officials, must learn to tell the difference between a coach who wants to communicate and a coach who just wants to complain.
The difference can be subtle, but it matters. Good officials recognize that not every raised voice or frustrated question is an attack. Sometimes, a coach simply wants to be heard.
As Big 12 Coordinator of Officials Greg Burks commented, “Most coach interaction is complaining, and we just need to listen. Coaches want good listeners.”
Coaches live in a high-stress environment. Their jobs, reputations, and the outcome of every game hinge on how 14–18-year-olds execute under pressure. When a play doesn’t go their way, emotion is expected.
A coach might yell things like:
- “What are you guys looking at out there?”
- “Are you ever going to throw a flag?”
- “Don’t you see that hold?”
These aren’t real questions, they’re emotional releases. They don’t require an answer.
The key is discernment. Is the coach simply complaining, or is he looking for an explanation?
If the coach is simply complaining, you don’t have to respond. Let him vent; stay composed. But if he’s asking a legitimate question, even if he’s frustrated or animated, you must respond.
If you don’t know if it’s venting or a legitimate question, ask for clarification: “Coach, what’s your concern?” His response may provide more clarity. If he repeats a complaint disguised as a question, don’t ignore him; instead, focus on de-escalating the situation.
After he vents, a simple response like, “I understand, Coach,” is often enough.
Sometimes, the coach genuinely wants information:
- “Wasn’t that receiver covered?”
- “Why wasn’t that kick catching interference?”
- “Why wasn’t that grounding?”
That’s communication—and it deserves a clear, factual response.
The goal isn’t to “win” the exchange or to defend your call; it’s to provide understanding. The most effective officials listen first and answer factually, without emotion.
- “There is no halo rule in NFHS. He didn’t interfere with your player’s opportunity to catch the punt.”
- “In my judgment, the quarterback was outside the lateral boundary of the free blocking zone.”
You’ve answered respectfully, shared the rule or judgment, and moved on.
Some officials respond to any comment, complaint, or question as if they’re being accused of incompetence. They instantly go defensive: “shields up”. Mature officials understand that part of our job is to absorb frustration without returning it. We signed up for this environment. It’s not personal; it’s part of the job.
When the coach starts to vent, listen. When he asks a question, answer. When he crosses the line into unsportsmanlike conduct, manage it—but don’t escalate it.
- “Thank you coach, we’ll look for that.”
- “Coach, would you like to repeat what you just said?”
- “Coach, I understand your concern. Let’s keep it professional.”
Not every complaint needs an answer, and not every question is a complaint.
When coaches complain—listen.
When they communicate—respond.
When they cross the line—manage.
Quiz
Read the quiz stem and then choose the best answer.
4/6 from the K-45. K33’s punt is high and short and bounces at midfield. K15 bats the ball at the R-45 toward Team R’s goal line, and it comes to rest at the R-30.
- No foul, K15 can bat the grounded scrimmage kick
- Enforce the foul from the R-45
- Enforce the foul from the R-30
- Team R may choose to next snap the ball from the R-45
Review Rule 6-2-5, 9-7-2 EXCEPTION, 10-4-2b