Referee Magazine’s “The 23 Most Powerful Lessons of Officiating” includes a short quote that delivers an important message:
“Bad body language will silence good words”
That sentence perfectly captures a reality every football official has experienced. You can be 100% correct. You can accurately cite the rule. You can clearly explain your judgment. And you still lose the moment because your body language undermined your message.
Words matter. But how we carry those words often matters more.
When Body Language Works Against Us
Most communication breakdowns with coaches don’t happen because the explanation was wrong. They happen because the official looked angry, dismissive, or confrontational while delivering it.
Some common examples of poor body language include:
- Staring down a coach as if it’s a contest of wills
- Standing face-to-face, squared up, chest out
- Sharp, emphatic hand gestures that look accusatory
- Crossing arms or placing hands on hips
- Rolling eyes, sighing, or visibly showing frustration
- Talking while walking away
- Pointing directly at the coach or jabbing a finger
None of these actions are illegal. But they send a message—often louder than our words—that says, “I’m irritated,” “I don’t care what you think,” or “This conversation is adversarial.”
Once that message is sent, even a perfect explanation may fall on deaf ears.
Calm, Confident Body Language Builds Credibility
The goal when communicating with a coach is not to “win” the exchange. The goal is to de-escalate, inform, and move on. Good body language supports that mission.
Effective officiating body language looks like this:
- Calm posture: shoulders relaxed, arms at your sides
- Non-threatening stance: shoulder-to-shoulder instead of face-to-face
- Natural eye contact: engaged, but not a staring contest
- Controlled gestures: open hands, minimal movement
- Stillness: confidence often shows up as lack of motion
- Neutral facial expression: not cold, not angry
This posture communicates confidence without arrogance and authority without hostility. It says, “I’m listening, I’m composed, and I’m in control of myself.”
Body Language and Judgment Calls
This is especially important when explaining judgment decisions.
When we say, “Coach, I saw the defender arrive at the same time as the ball,” or “In my judgment, the contact didn’t rise to the level of a foul,” our tone and posture must match the message.
If our body language looks defensive, tense, or combative, the coach may hear something very different than what we intended.
Strong body language reinforces that this wasn’t a guess. It was a decision made calmly, confidently, and professionally.
A Final Thought
We’ve spent a lot of time talking about what to say to coaches. This is a reminder to pay equal attention to how we say it.
Bad body language can sabotage good rules knowledge.
Good body language can calm a heated moment before it ever escalates.
When you speak to a coach, let your posture, facial expression, and gestures support your words, not compete with them.
Because in officiating, communication is never just verbal.
Quiz
Read the quiz stem and then choose the best answer. (Choose all that apply.) Note: not all available penalty enforcement options are listed. Please read the explanation for all logical options.
2/20 from the A-15. A14 runs to the right and pitches the ball backward to A33, who muffs the ball. While the ball is in flight, B44 strikes A14 above the shoulders with his helmet. The referee throws a flag for illegal helmet contact. A33 picks up the grounded ball and runs to the A-33 where he is downed.
- Enforce the penalty for the illegal helmet contact foul from the end of the run (A-33)
- Enforce the penalty for the illegal helmet contact foul from the previous spot (A-15)
- Automatic first down
- B44 must be disqualified
Review Rules 2-20-2; 2-31-5; 2-33-1c,d; 9-4-3m; 9-4-4; and 10-4-2b